Create a calm corner at home for an autistic child

Why is a calm corner so important?

The need for refuge in the face of overload

Autistic children often live with a nervous system in a state of constant alert. Sensory stimuli, social interactions, unexpected events, daily demands: all of this consumes considerable energy. The calm corner offers a place where this constant stimulation can temporarily cease.

Imagine spending your day in a noisy environment, with flashing lights and people constantly asking you questions. You would need a quiet place to recover. This is exactly what a hypersensitive autistic child experiences and the calm corner is their decompression room.

A proactive regulation tool

The calm corner allows the child to self-regulate proactively, that is, before reaching the breaking point. Instead of managing a crisis, it is avoided by offering the child the opportunity to recharge when they feel the tension rising.

With time and practice, the child can learn to recognize their own signs of overload and use the calm corner independently a valuable skill for their entire life.

A sense of control

For a child who experiences the world as unpredictable and often uncontrollable, having a space that belongs to them, where they decide when to go and how long to stay, provides a sense of mastery essential to their psychological well-being.

A designated place for the family

The calm corner also creates a clear structure for the whole family. Everyone knows that it is the place where the child can go when they need to calm down, which avoids negotiations and conflicts.

Where to set up the calm corner?

The choice of location

The location of the calm corner is crucial for its effectiveness.

Essential criteria

• Quiet: Away from high-traffic areas and noise sources

• Accessible: The child must be able to go there easily and independently

• Safe: No dangers (electrical outlets, fragile objects, sharp corners)

• Defined: The space must be clearly identifiable

Good locations

• A corner of the child's room: Advantage of being in a space that is already personal and accessible

• A space under the stairs: Often naturally dark and sheltered

• A corner of the living room: If it is the only available space, provided it can be defined

• A converted closet: Surprising but often very appreciated for its cocoon-like aspect

• A small dedicated room: Ideal if you have the space

Locations to avoid

• High-traffic areas

• Noisy rooms (kitchen, laundry room)

• Too open spaces without the possibility of definition

• Places associated with conflicts or stressful activities

Defining the space

Even if you do not have a dedicated room, it is important to clearly define the calm corner.

Ways to define the space

• A tent or teepee: Creates a closed and cozy space

• A canopy or drapes: Defines while allowing light in

• A room divider: Effective visual separation

• A corner formed by furniture: Bookshelf and armchair forming a nook

• A specific rug: Even a simple rug visually defines the space

• A fabric hut: Pop-up type, easy to set up and store

The dimensions

The calm corner does not need to be large. An area of 1 to 2 m² is usually sufficient. If it is too large, it would lose its reassuring cocoon aspect. The important thing is that the child can sit or lie down comfortably.

How to set up the calm corner?

The basic comfort

The floor

• Thick and soft rug: For comfort and insulation from the cold floor

• Floor foam: Puzzle type, easy to clean

• Blankets: Stacked to create a cozy nest

The seating

According to the child's preferences:

• Large cushions: Allow for different seating positions

• Bean bag: Enveloping and comfortable

• Bean bag chair (giant bean bag): Very popular for its enveloping nature

• Hammock or swing: If the child enjoys movement (and if space allows)

• Small tent with mattress: To lie down completely

Lighting

Lighting is crucial. It should be:

• Soft: No bright or neon lights

• Controllable: The child should be able to turn it on and off

• Safe: No lamp that gets hot within reach

Lighting options

• Fairy lights: Create a soft and magical atmosphere

• Dimmable lamp: The child controls the brightness

• Night light: Sufficient for some children who prefer darkness

• Star or shape projector: Soothing for some children

• Lava lamp: Hypnotic and calming (but watch out for heat)

Some children prefer total darkness: in this case, ensure the possibility to completely block out light.

Sensory elements

The calm corner can incorporate elements that help with sensory regulation. However, be careful not to overload the space less is often more.

For touch

• Weighted blanket: The deep pressure effect is very calming

• Varied textures: Soft fabrics, plush toys, textured cushions

• Objects to manipulate: Fidgets, stress balls, gel tubes

For sight

• Sensory bottles: Water + glitter or oil + dye

• Visual timer: Soothing to watch

• Soft mobile: Slow and predictable movements

• Favorite books: With soothing images

For hearing

• Noise-canceling headphones: To block out external sounds

• Soft music or white noise: On an easy-to-use player

• Soft instruments: Rain stick, Tibetan bowl

For smell

If the child is not hypersensitive to smells:

• Essential oil diffuser: Lavender, chamomile (with caution)

• Scented cushion: With a smell the child likes

• Object with a familiar scent: A parent's clothing, for example

Comfort objects

The calm corner should contain objects that help the child feel safe:

• Favorite stuffed animal or toy

• Objects related to specific interests: If the child is passionate about dinosaurs, a dinosaur in the calm corner

• Photos: Of family, of a beloved place

• Usual transitional object

What NOT to include

The calm corner should remain a space for decompression, not a play or stimulation area:

• No exciting or noisy toys

• No screens (tablet, television) unless it is an identified regulation tool

• No too many objects: Clutter is a source of stimulation

• No objects associated with work or demands

Rules for using the calm corner

For the calm corner to work, clear rules must be established.

What the calm corner IS

• A place to calm down

• A place to go when needed

• A safe space

• A choice, not an obligation

What the calm corner IS NOT

• A punishment

• A place of forced isolation

• An ordinary play area

• A place to go to systematically avoid demands

Rules to establish

Who can go there?

• The child concerned (obviously)

• Can other family members go there? To be discussed according to family configuration. Generally, it is preferable that it is the child's personal space.

When to go?

• When the child feels they need it

• When an adult suggests it (but does not force)

• Not during meals or at specific times (to be defined as a family)

How long?

• The time needed to calm down

• No imposed duration

• The child comes out when they are ready

• Possibly, a visual timer if the child needs structure

How to enter and exit?

• The child can go there alone

• They can ask for company or prefer to be alone

• They can exit freely

Introducing the calm corner to the child

When the calm corner is ready, introduce it to the child positively:

• Show them the space and what it contains

• Explain its purpose: "This is your corner to feel good when it's too much"

• Let them try it when they are calm

• Allow them to make the space their own (they may want to add or remove things)

Using the calm corner daily

As prevention

Do not wait for crises to use the calm corner. Encourage the child to go there regularly, even when everything is fine:

• After school to decompress

• Before a stressful activity

• When the day has been busy

• As a transition ritual

When you spot warning signals

When you observe the first signs of rising tension:

• Offer the calm corner: "Would you like to go to your calm corner?"

• Do not force: If the child refuses, offer an alternative

• Accompany if the child wishes

The My Dictionary app from DYNSEO can help the child express their need to go to their calm corner. With real images, they can communicate "I need calm", "I want to go to my corner", "it's too much for me". This communication facilitates the autonomous use of the calm corner and reduces frustration from not being able to express their needs. Discover My Dictionary.

During a crisis escalation

If the child is already very agitated:

• Gently guide them to the calm corner if possible

• Do not physically force

• If the calm corner is not accessible, create a "temporary calm corner" where you are (reduce stimuli, create a barrier with your body)

After a crisis

The calm corner is ideal for the recovery phase after a crisis:

• Offer it once the intensity has decreased

• The child can stay there as long as needed

• Do not ask anything, do not discuss: this is a recovery time

The calm corner and movement

Some children need movement to regulate themselves. In this case, the calm corner can incorporate elements of gentle movement or be complemented by physical activities.

The COCO THINKS and COCO MOVES program from DYNSEO includes active breaks that can complement the use of the calm corner. For some children, an ideal sequence might be: active break to release energy, then calm corner for recovery. The program offers activities suitable for children aged 5 to 10, with levels designed for children with cognitive disorders. Discover COCO THINKS and COCO MOVES.

Adapting the calm corner to your child

Observe and adjust

The ideal calm corner depends on your child's specific needs. Observe:

• What soothes them: Some children prefer darkness, others a soft light

• What stimulates them too much: An object you thought was soothing may be a source of excitement

• Their sensory preferences: Textures, sounds, brightness

• What they actually use: Sometimes the child only uses one or two items

Evolving the calm corner

The child's needs evolve. The calm corner must evolve with them:

• Update the items according to current interests

• Adapt the furniture to their size

• Incorporate their suggestions

• Remove what is not used

Involve the child

As much as possible, involve the child in creating and evolving their calm corner:

• Let them choose items

• Ask them what they would like to put there

• Respect their preferences even if they surprise you

The calm corner outside the home

At school

Discuss with the educational team the possibility of creating a calm corner in the classroom or school. Even a minimal space can make a difference:

• A corner with a screen

• A teepee in a corner of the classroom

• Access to a quiet room (library, infirmary)

At grandparents' or other regular places

If the child spends time regularly elsewhere, consider creating a mini calm corner in those places:

• Simplified version with essential elements

• Or prepare a "portable calm corner kit"

The portable calm corner

For travel, prepare a portable version:

• Noise-canceling headphones

• Familiar blanket or fabric

• Some regulation objects

• Portable lamp

• Soothing sounds app on phone/tablet

Common mistakes to avoid

Using the calm corner as punishment

"Go to your calm corner!" said in a reproachful tone turns this positive space into a place of punishment. The child will no longer go there on their own.

Forcing the child to go there

The calm corner must be a choice, not an obligation. Forcing the child to go there creates a negative association.

Overloading the space

Too many objects, too many stimuli: the calm corner itself becomes a source of overload. Stay minimalist.

Making it an ordinary play space

If the calm corner becomes the daily play area, it loses its specific function as a refuge.

Neglecting maintenance

A messy calm corner, with broken or dirty objects, is no longer soothing. Keep it clean and tidy.

Waiting for crises to use it

The calm corner is more effective in prevention. Encourage its regular use, not just in crisis situations.

Training to Better Support

Creating an adapted environment is an integral part of supporting an autistic child. Training allows you to understand the sensory and emotional needs of the child and to best arrange their daily life.

The DYNSEO training "Supporting a Child with Autism: Keys and Solutions for Daily Life" teaches you to understand your child's sensory needs and to create an environment that promotes their well-being and regulation. Sign up for this training.

Our training "Autism: Managing Difficult Situations in Daily Life" includes concrete strategies for effectively using the calm corner in prevention and crisis management. Discover this training.

Conclusion: A Valuable Investment

Creating a calm corner for your autistic child is not a luxury: it is an essential regulatory tool that can transform your daily life. With an adapted space to retreat to, your child has a valuable resource to manage difficult moments.

The ideal calm corner is one that meets your child's specific needs: their sensory profile, preferences, and sources of comfort. Take the time to observe them, involve them in creating this space, and adjust over time.

At DYNSEO, we provide tools that complement this approach: My Dictionary for the child to express their need for calm, COCO THINKS and COCO MOVES to integrate movement into regulation, and our trainings to guide you in daily support.

A well-designed calm corner is a gift you give to your child and to the whole family.