How do you tell your parents they need help?

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As we get older, we find ourselves gradually diminished and certain daily tasks can become more and more difficult to perform. It is important to identify when you will need help to contact your family or professionals directly to set up an adapted assistance service.

But it’s not easy to accept that you need help. Very often we feel that we are capable of doing everything ourselves, whether it is difficult or not. Feeling diminished is very difficult to accept, as is having to depend on outside help. An adult person will refuse to be dependent at any age because independence is something that every person fights for during their life. It is therefore difficult to turn back the clock. If your parents refuse to provide help daily, it is important to understand the reason: they do not want to accept their decrease and want to maintain an independent life.

We, therefore, advise you to take care of your parents by taking the time to tell them things calmly, without rushing them or imposing the presence of help overnight, for example. Starting this discussion will not be easy, so we advise you to read the article we have prepared for you. It will help you to easily let your parents know that they need help. So, don’t wait any longer to read on and get ready.

 

IDENTIFY THE NEED FOR HELP FROM PARENTS BEFORE TAKING ACTION

 

Before you engage in this risky discussion and tell your parents that they need help, we advise you not to jump ahead. Start by identifying your parents’ real needs and problems. Take the time to discuss with them and see them regularly to analyze the situation properly without making mistakes. Indeed, if you tell your parents that they need help when it is still too early, it could backfire very quickly!

Your parents may find it difficult to maintain their garden, their house, or take care of them on different levels. It is important to remember that your parents may be feeling well and may not easily realize that they have important things to forget, for example. So, take the time to identify your parents’ needs, and find out from helping professionals what options are available to help your parents. Based on the choices that will be available, you will be able to identify what will be best for them and the help they can receive, for example.

Then you have to get to the complicated part of telling your parents that they need help. This part will be tricky, but necessary to take care of your parents. So, take the time to prepare and get started!

 

TAKE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT IT

 

We strongly advise you not to get into the discussion as soon as you arrive or in a too direct way by imposing help from your parents. It will be important to be present and use a family meeting to indicate that you want to have a serious discussion when the opportunity arises. This sets the tone for the upcoming conversation and your parents will be much more attentive.

When you are with each other, you can begin the discussion by making sure you remain calm and as clear as possible about the situation. You need to take the time to speak calmly in a meeting in a good mood to make sure that you have chosen the right moment.

For example, if your parents are tired or having a bad day for some reason, you should avoid getting into that nerve-wracking conversation. You also need to think about yourself and choose a time when you can stay strong. This will allow you to keep your courage up if your parents react badly and don’t seem to understand the importance of getting help. We, therefore, advise you to make sure that everyone is in good shape before starting this delicate conversation. 

 

TAKE A PARENT-FRIENDLY APPROACH

 

All you have to do is tell your parents that they need help. You will need to start the conversation calmly and empathetically. It’s important to show that you care about your parents because you love them and that your only goal is to keep them safe.

You can give some examples of times when your parents needed help when they were in danger. This will support your words by showing that you are not worrying for no reason, that you have waited for several serious events before wanting to talk about them seriously. But don’t forget that your parents will most likely resist and tell you that they can take care of themselves.

We advise you to appeal to their sympathy to accept help. Let them know that this help is not just for them, but also to reassure you because you are worried about their safety. Feeling that the help will also be for you will help them to accept it. When you feel they are ready to consider this possibility, don’t make the mistake of imposing the help you have found on them. You need to organize together with the type of help you need to put in place to include them in the organization and help them to feel that they still have control over their lives.

It is important to do this over several days and several conversations, it will help not to give too much information all at once!

UNDERSTANDING THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF NEEDING HELP

Recognizing the need for help can be emotionally challenging for both parents and their children. It’s essential to understand the emotions involved in this transition. Parents may experience feelings of:

  • Loss of Independence: The fear of losing their ability to manage their lives can be overwhelming.
  • Embarrassment: They might feel ashamed or embarrassed about needing assistance.
  • Fear of Change: Change can be daunting, and the thought of adapting to a new way of living can create anxiety.
  • Isolation: They may worry that accepting help will lead to feelings of isolation or loneliness.

Addressing these emotions and validating their feelings is crucial in facilitating a supportive dialogue. By acknowledging these concerns, you can help your parents feel understood and more open to the idea of receiving help.

EXPLORING DIFFERENT TYPES OF ASSISTANCE

When discussing the need for help, it’s beneficial to explore various types of assistance available. Understanding the options can ease the transition for your parents. Here are some common types of assistance:

  • In-Home Care: Professional caregivers can assist with daily activities, such as bathing, cooking, and cleaning.
  • Adult Day Care: These facilities provide social and recreational activities during the day, allowing caregivers a break.
  • Meal Delivery Services: Programs that deliver nutritious meals can ensure that parents maintain a healthy diet.
  • Transportation Services: Assistance with transportation can help parents attend appointments and social events.
  • Technology Solutions: Devices and apps designed for seniors can help them stay connected and safe.

By presenting these options, you can help your parents visualize the support available, making the idea of accepting help less intimidating.

INVOLVING OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS IN THE DISCUSSION

Involving other family members in the conversation about needing help can provide additional support and perspective. Here are some strategies for involving siblings or other relatives:

  • Schedule a Family Meeting: Organize a time for everyone to come together and discuss the situation openly.
  • Share Responsibilities: Discuss how each family member can contribute to supporting your parents.
  • Encourage Open Dialogue: Foster an environment where everyone can express their thoughts and feelings about the situation.
  • Be Unified: Present a united front to your parents to reinforce the importance of seeking help.

Involving others can alleviate the pressure on you and show your parents that they have a supportive network willing to help them navigate this transition.

CREATING A SAFE ENVIRONMENT FOR DISCUSSION

Establishing a safe and comfortable environment for discussing the need for help is vital. Here are some tips to create that space:

  • Choose the Right Location: Select a familiar and comfortable setting for the conversation, such as their living room or a favorite cafe.
  • Minimize Distractions: Ensure the environment is free from distractions, allowing for focused and meaningful dialogue.
  • Use Positive Body Language: Maintain open and inviting body language to convey warmth and understanding.
  • Be Patient: Allow for pauses and give your parents time to process the conversation without feeling rushed.

Creating a supportive atmosphere can significantly impact how your parents perceive the conversation and their willingness to engage in it.

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