For an autistic teenager, having a place to retreat when overload threatens can make the difference between getting through the day and breaking down. Identifying and securing these retreat spaces is an essential prevention strategy.
The vital importance of recovery spaces
In the intensely stimulating environment of middle school or high school, the autistic teenager needs to be able to temporarily withdraw to regulate their nervous system. These moments of withdrawal are not flight or avoidance: they are prevention strategies that allow recovery before reaching the breaking point.
Without access to these retreat spaces, the teenager has only two options: hold on until total exhaustion, or break down in the middle of the stressful environment. Neither of these options is satisfactory.
Having an identified and accessible “refuge” changes everything. The teenager knows they have an exit, which can paradoxically help them hold on longer, because they feel less trapped.
Potential refuge locations
Each school is different, but certain places generally lend themselves better than others to the function of refuge.
The library (Documentation and Information Center)
The library is often one of the quietest places in the school. Quiet is expected there and silence rules are generally respected. The lighting is sometimes softer than in classrooms.
The advantages of the library include its calm atmosphere, the presence of a benevolent adult (the librarian), and the possibility of occupying oneself autonomously (reading, school work).
The limitations may be restricted opening hours, crowds at certain times (group research, lunch break), and the fact that it is not always suitable for an emergency retreat (you can’t always go there without notice).
The nurse’s office
The nurse’s office is often quiet and offers the advantage of an adult presence trained in listening. It can be a good refuge in case of overload with physical manifestations (headaches, stress-related nausea).
The advantages of the nurse’s office include the presence of a healthcare professional, the generally calm and reassuring atmosphere, and the legitimacy of withdrawal (no justification needed).
The limitations may be limited opening hours, sometimes high occupancy (care for other students), and the risk that staff may not be trained in the specific needs of autism.
The student life office
The office of CPEs (Principal Educational Advisors) or supervisors can sometimes offer a retreat space. It all depends on the layout of the premises and staff availability.
The main advantage is the presence of reference adults who know the student. The disadvantage may be the crowds (many students come to the student life office for various reasons) and potential noise.
A dedicated office
Some schools have or can arrange a space specifically dedicated to the retreat of students with special needs. This can be a small office, a rest room, a quiet corner in a less frequented hallway.
The advantage of a dedicated space is that it can be arranged to meet sensory needs (soft lighting, comfortable furniture, regulation equipment). The disadvantage is that not all schools have such a resource.
Outdoor spaces
Depending on the school’s configuration, certain less frequented outdoor spaces can serve as refuges: a remote corner of the courtyard, a garden, a distant shelter.
Fresh air and open space can be regulating for some teenagers. Limitations include dependence on weather conditions and less adult supervision.
How to identify the best refuges
Finding the right refuges requires exploring the school and negotiating with staff.
Exploring the school
With your teenager, or by asking the school, explore the different available spaces. Identify those that are the quietest, the least frequented, the most accessible.
Visit them at different times of the day: a place that’s quiet at 8 a.m. may be crowded at 10:30 a.m.
Assessing the noise and stimulation level
For each potential location, assess the level of sensory stimulation. Are there buzzing fluorescent lights? Does hallway noise penetrate? Is the lighting aggressive?
A place that seems “quiet” to a neurotypical person may still be too stimulating for a hypersensitive autistic teenager.
Checking accessibility
The ideal refuge is quickly accessible without obstacles. If the teenager has to cross the entire school, ask for multiple permissions, or wait for an adult to be available, the refuge loses its usefulness in an emergency.
Negotiating official access
Once potential refuges are identified, negotiate official access with the school. This access can be formalized in the PAP or PPS.
Questions to clarify include: when can the teenager go there (with permission? on a simple signal? at any time?), how long can they stay, who should they notify, what happens with classes missed during retreat time?
How to use refuges effectively
Having access to a refuge is not enough: you still need to know when and how to use it.
Recognizing warning signals
The teenager must learn to recognize their own overload signals BEFORE reaching the breaking point. A refuge used preventively is much more effective than a refuge used as a last resort.
Signals can be physical (tension, headache, racing heart), cognitive (difficulty concentrating, confused thoughts), or emotional (increasing irritability, desire to cry).
Having a clear protocol
The teenager must know exactly how to proceed to get to the refuge. A clear protocol, agreed upon in advance, reduces the stress of the process.
For example: “When I feel it’s becoming too difficult, I show my card to the teacher, I leave the classroom without having to explain, and I go to the library. I stay as long as necessary (maximum 30 minutes), then I return to class or go to the next class.”
Having regulation activities
Once at the refuge, the teenager needs to know what to do to regulate themselves. Simply being in a quiet place may be enough, but activities or regulation tools can help: breathing techniques, fidgets, music (if allowed), drawing, reading.
These tools can be prepared in advance and left at the refuge or in the teenager’s bag.
Knowing when to return
The refuge is not a permanent avoidance. The goal is to recover enough to be able to resume activities. The teenager must learn to assess when they are ready to return.
A timing can be agreed (“I stay 15 minutes then I reassess”), or the teenager can learn to sense when their nervous system has calmed down.
Communication tools for accessing the refuge
Asking to leave the classroom when in overload can be difficult. Communication tools can facilitate this process.
The exit card
A card that the teenager can simply show to the teacher, without having to explain their request verbally. The card can indicate the location where they are going and the approximate duration of their absence.
This card can be mentioned in the PAP/PPS and presented to all teachers at the beginning of the year.
An agreed signal
A discreet signal agreed upon with the teacher (a gesture, a word) can indicate the need to leave without attracting the attention of other students.
An app or SMS
For teenagers equipped with a phone and authorized to use it, a pre-recorded message can be sent to the CPE or the nurse to notify them of the student’s arrival at the refuge.
Training to better support
Supporting your teenager in using retreat strategies requires a fine understanding of their needs.
The training Managing emotions of an autistic teenager offered by DYNSEO helps you understand the mechanisms of sensory overload and develop effective prevention strategies.
For situations where the refuge was not enough and a breakdown occurs, the training Autism: Managing Difficult Situations in Daily Life offers support strategies.
Tools to equip the refuge
Appropriate tools can be placed at the refuge or in the teenager’s bag to facilitate regulation.
MY DICO can be used to create regulation cards: images showing breathing techniques, relaxation exercises, reminders of coping strategies.
The program CLINT, the brain coach, if installed on a tablet accessible at the refuge, can offer a gentle and predictable cognitive activity to help with regulation.
Conclusion
Refuge spaces within the school are a valuable resource for autistic teenagers. They offer a safety valve that can prevent breakdowns and allow them to get through the entire day.
Identifying these spaces, negotiating official access, learning to use them at the right time and effectively is part of essential prevention strategies.
Your role as a parent is to help your teenager identify these refuges, negotiate access conditions with the school, and support them in learning to use them optimally.
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This article is part of a series dedicated to supporting autistic teenagers in managing their emotions. Find the other articles on the DYNSEO blog to deepen each theme.