Alzheimer: 10 mistakes to absolutely avoid when supporting a loved one

Table of contents

1. Mistake 1: Correcting and contradicting systematically

2. Mistake 2: Speaking about the person as if they weren't there

3. Mistake 3: Neglecting one's own health and well-being

4. Mistake 4: Infantilizing the person

5. Mistake 5: Isolating the person and isolating oneself

6. Mistake 6: Leaving the person alone in the face of dangers

7. Mistake 7: Stopping all cognitive stimulation

8. Mistake 8: Doing everything for them

9. Mistake 9: Refusing outside help

10. Mistake 10: Ignoring signs of burnout

Mistake 1: Correcting and contradicting systematically {#erreur-1}

The mistake

"No, that's not true, you're wrong!"

Your loved one says that their mother (who passed away 20 years ago) just called them. You respond: "But no, your mother has been dead for a long time, you're talking nonsense!"

Your loved one thinks they are in 1970. You insist: "It's 2025, come back to the present!"

Why it's harmful

For the sick person:

• Anguish, confusion: Confronted with a reality they do not recognize
• Feeling misunderstood, rejected
• Agitation, aggression in reaction to contradiction
• Loss of trust in the caregiver

For the caregiver:

• Frustration: "She never understands!"
• Repeated conflicts, relational exhaustion

The good practice

Enter into their reality rather than bringing them back to ours.

Examples:

Instead of: "Your mother is dead, stop saying that!"

Say: "Your mother called you? What did she say?" (validating the emotion)

Instead of: "We're not in 1970!"

Say: "Are you thinking about that time? What was it like?" (accompanying the memory)

Instead of: "No, that's not your coat, it's mine!"

Say: "You're right, that coat is nice. Let's put it away together." (avoiding conflict)

Principle: Emotional validation rather than factual correction.

Resources: Our Alzheimer training teaches you the appropriate communication techniques.

Mistake 2: Speaking about the person as if they weren't there {#erreur-2}

The mistake

"She no longer recognizes anyone, she understands nothing."

You are talking with the doctor, family, or a friend, and you describe your loved one's condition in their presence, as if they were a piece of furniture.

Why it's harmful

The person with Alzheimer’s is not deaf, nor completely disconnected.

Even in advanced stages, they perceive emotions, tone of voice, and may feel:

This destroys their dignity.

The good practice

Always include the person in the conversation, even if their understanding is limited.

Examples:

Instead of: (in your mother's presence) "She is completely lost, she can't do anything anymore."

Say: "Mom, I'm talking to the doctor about your difficulties. Do you have any questions?"

Always address her first, then the interlocutor.

Non-verbal language: Look the person in the eye, hold their hand, smile.

Principle: Respect their human dignity until the end.

Mistake 3: Neglecting one's own health and well-being {#erreur-3}

The mistake

"I don't have time to take care of myself, I need to be there for him 24/7."

You no longer sleep (nights disturbed by your loved one), you see no one, you do no activities, you eat poorly, you are physically and mentally exhausted.

Why it's harmful

An exhausted caregiver cannot help.

Consequences:

Alarming statistics: 50% of Alzheimer caregivers suffer from depression.

The good practice

Taking care of oneself is a NECESSITY, not a luxury.

Concrete actions:

1. Take regular breaks

2. Maintain a social life

3. Take care of your health

4. Accept help

Principle: To help, one must be in good shape. Taking care of oneself = taking care of others.

Resources: Our free guide contains advice for preserving your health as a caregiver.

Mistake 4: Infantilizing the person {#erreur-4}

The mistake

Speaking to them like a baby: "Come on, it's time to go potty now, it's bedtime!"

Using a condescending tone, "doing things for them" systematically, treating them like a child.

Why it's harmful

The person with Alzheimer’s remains an adult with a history, a personality, and dignity.

Infantilization:

The good practice

Speak with respect, as to an adult.

Examples:

Instead of: "We're going to go potty now!"

Say: "Would you like to go to the bathroom?"

Instead of: "Come on, open your mouth wide, it's good!"

Say: "Here is your meal. Take your time."

Tone of voice: Calm, respectful (not a nursery tone).

Preserved autonomy: Let them do it alone as much as possible (even if slow, imperfect).

Principle: Dignity = respect for the adult they remain.

Mistake 5: Isolating the person and isolating oneself {#erreur-5}

The mistake

"I can't take her anywhere anymore, she makes a fuss, people are looking at us."

You no longer go out, you see no one, you both isolate yourselves at home.

Why it's harmful

For the sick person:

For the caregiver:

The good practice

Maintain an adapted social life.

Solutions:

1. Short, simple outings

2. Daycare

3. Associations, support groups

4. Family, friends

Principle: Isolation worsens everything. Socialization protects.

Mistake 6: Leaving the person alone in the face of dangers {#erreur-6}

The mistake

"He has always lived alone, I’m not going to overprotect him."

You leave your loved one alone at home with:

Why it's harmful

People with Alzheimer’s gradually lose:

Potential consequences:

The good practice

Secure the home and supervise.

Safety measures:

Kitchen:

Front door:

Medications:

Stairs:

Supervision:

Principle: Safety before autonomy (when judgment is impaired).

Mistake 7: Stopping all cognitive stimulation {#erreur-7}

The mistake

"What's the point of stimulating, she doesn't remember anything anyway."

You leave your loved one in front of the TV all day, with no activities, no stimulation.

Why it's harmful

Cognitive stimulation slows decline.

Without stimulation:

The good practice

Stimulate regularly, in an appropriate manner.

Recommended activities:

1. Adapted memory games

Our app EDITH: Specially designed for people with Alzheimer’s

Proven benefits: Slowing decline, maintaining autonomy, enjoyment

2. Manual activities

3. Music

4. Discussions

5. Daily activities

Principle: Stimulating = preserving. Even in advanced stages, stimulation makes sense.

Mistake 8: Doing everything for them {#erreur-8}

The mistake

"It's faster if I do it myself."

You dress your loved one, feed them, do everything for them (even what they could still do alone).

Why it's harmful

Principle: "Use it or lose it" (What we do not use, we lose).

If you do everything:

The good practice

Encourage them to do it alone, with help if necessary.

Examples:

Dressing:

Eating:

Hygiene:

Principle: Do WITH, not IN PLACE OF.

Patience = key: Yes, it takes longer. But it preserves autonomy and dignity.

Mistake 9: Refusing outside help {#erreur-9}

The mistake

"No one will take care of them as well as I do."

You refuse:

Out of guilt, pride, fear of judgment.

Why it's harmful

Leads to total exhaustion (caregiver burnout).

Consequences:

The good practice

Accepting help = intelligence, not weakness.

Available help:

1. Home professionals

2. Daycare

3. Temporary accommodation

4. Family, friends

5. Associations

Funding:

Principle: Accepting help = preserving oneself to better support.

Mistake 10: Ignoring signs of burnout {#erreur-10}

The mistake

"I’m holding on, I have no choice."

You deny your fatigue, your tears, your irritability, your negative thoughts.

Signs of caregiver burnout

Physical:

Emotional:

Cognitive:

Social:

If multiple signs → URGENCY: consult a doctor, ask for help.

The good practice

Listen to your body, your emotions.

Actions:

1. Medical consultation

2. Immediate respite

3. Support groups

4. Training

Principle: Burnout is not a fatality. Asking for help saves the caregiver and the loved one.

Conclusion: Supporting with compassion and clarity

Supporting a loved one with Alzheimer’s is a marathon, not a sprint. Mistakes are human, but by identifying them and adopting good practices, you can improve your loved one's quality of life, preserve your health, and experience this challenge with more serenity.

The 10 mistakes to avoid:

1. ❌ Correcting systematically → ✅ Validating emotions

2. ❌ Speaking about them as if they weren't there → ✅ Respecting their dignity

3. ❌ Neglecting their health → ✅ Preserving oneself to help better

4. ❌ Infantilizing → ✅ Treating as an adult

5. ❌ Isolating → ✅ Maintaining social life

6. ❌ Leaving alone in the face of dangers → ✅ Securing

7. ❌ Stopping stimulation → ✅ Stimulating with EDITH

8. ❌ Doing everything for them → ✅ Encouraging autonomy

9. ❌ Refusing help → ✅ Accepting support

10. ❌ Ignoring burnout → ✅ Asking for help

You are not alone. Resources, professionals, tools like EDITH and our training are here to help you. Take care of yourself. Your loved one needs you to be well, not exhausted.

DYNSEO resources to support you:

Supporting a loved one with Alzheimer’s is loving enough to accept their limits. And to accept your own. Be compassionate with your loved one. And with yourself.