Targeted Encouragements: Saying More Than "It's Good"
The words we use to encourage a child build their self-perception. Going beyond the simple "It's good" helps to nurture solid and lasting motivation.
How many times a day do you say "It's good" to your child? This reflex comes from good intentions, but it remains vague: what exactly is "good"? Their writing? Their perseverance? The fact that they dared to try? More precise, targeted encouragements help the child understand what is valued, to reproduce the behavior and develop real self-esteem. It is particularly valuable for children who doubt themselves or experience school difficulties.
🚧 The limits of "It's good"
"It's good" reassures at the moment, but does not provide any usable information to the child. After a while, they might not even hear the message anymore, as it becomes repetitive.
⚠️ Three possible side effects
- Vague message: the child doesn't know what they did well nor how to redo it.
- Dependency on adult validation: the child waits for validation rather than learning to self-evaluate.
- Invisible pressure: some children wonder: "And when it's not good?" without daring to ask the question.
🎯 What is a targeted encouragement?
A targeted encouragement precisely describes what the child did, or how they went about it. It focuses on the process rather than the raw result. This nurtures what is called a growth mindset: the belief that one can improve by practicing.
Precise
It points to a specific behavior: "You took the time to reread".
Effort-focused
It values strategy and perseverance, not just the right answer.
Informative
It helps the child understand what works for them.
💬 Concrete examples of phrases to use
Here are some possible formulations to replace a too general "It's good":
- "I noticed that you didn't give up even when it was difficult."
- "You took the time to underline the important words of the instructions, it helped you."
- "You corrected your mistake on your own by rereading, well done for that."
- "You made an effort with the capital letters and punctuation, it's much more readable."
- "You found another way to solve this problem, you're creative."
💡 DYNSEO Tip
You can create a small "phrase bank" to keep on the fridge or next to your homework corner. The idea is not to say everything at once, but to choose one thing to highlight each session.
📉 Encouraging a child in school difficulty
For a child who often receives negative remarks at school, targeted encouragements have a repairing role. They show them that there is more than "good" or "not good": progress, strategies, visible efforts.
"It's not perfect, but it's better than last week. You have gained confidence and it shows."
Example of constructive feedback
Encouragements can also relate to how to manage emotions: "You were very angry, but you agreed to take a break before returning to the exercise."
🎓 Training "Prevent School Dropout"
In this training, we address the early signals of demotivation and how to build an encouraging environment, both at school and at home.
Discover the training →📱 Using COCO, JOE, and DYNSEO trainings as supports
The DYNSEO programs offer an ideal playground to practice targeted encouragements: the sessions are short, repetitive, and the child can easily see their progress.
🎮 COCO THINKS and COCO MOVES
After a session, you can say: "You did better at this memory game because you concentrated longer. Did you notice that?" This way, the child connects performance, strategy, and effort.
Discover COCO →
🧠 JOE, the brain coach
For older children, JOE allows you to measure progress: number of correct answers, reaction time... Many opportunities to say: "You gained 2 levels in this game, that's the result of your regular training."
Discover JOE →🤍 Supporting anxious children
Targeted encouragements are even more powerful when associated with anxiety management tools. DYNSEO supports you with dedicated training for anxious children.
Discover training for anxious children →🎯 Conclusion
To say "It's good" is not wrong, but it is often insufficient for the child to understand what they are doing well. By making your encouragements more precise, more concrete, you help them build a kind and realistic inner discourse: "I'm not useless, I'm progressing, I have strategies that work."
Day by day, these targeted phrases contribute to preventing school dropout and building a lasting motivation, much more solid than the simple pursuit of a good grade.