Avoid shouting

It is essential for parents to refrain from allowing autistic children to imitate inappropriate behaviors. This underscores the importance for parents to continuously work on their own behavior and emotional regulation. One of the fundamental steps in this process is maintaining calm, even in the face of difficult situations or crises. Reacting with anger or frustration can exacerbate the situation and worsen the child's distress. Instead, parents can use techniques such as breathing exercises to help them manage their emotions effectively. Three deep breaths, for example, allow for a pause and release of tension. As primary role models for their children, parents must demonstrate composure and self-control. By modeling calm and composed behavior, parents can effectively teach their children how to regulate their own emotions and reactions. It is through these actions that parents can set a positive example for their children and cultivate an environment conducive to their emotional growth and development.

Adopting Gentle Techniques

It is essential for parents to prevent autistic children from imitating inappropriate behaviors. This highlights the need for parents to focus on their own behavior and on managing their emotions. One of the key aspects of this endeavor is to keep calm, especially in difficult circumstances or during a crisis. Reacting with anger or frustration can only exacerbate the situation, which may increase the child's distress. Instead, parents can adopt strategies such as practicing breathing exercises to effectively manage their emotions. Simple techniques, such as three deep breaths, can provide a moment of respite and relieve tension.

Given their role as primary models, parents must consistently demonstrate calmness and self-control. By showing calm and composed behavior, parents can effectively instill these qualities in their children and pass on valuable lessons about emotional regulation. Through these deliberate actions, parents not only provide a positive example but also cultivate an environment conducive to emotional well-being and the development of their children. It is through these intentional efforts that parents can play a crucial role in their children's emotional development and in maintaining a harmonious family dynamic.

2. Supporting the Autistic Child

The primary goal is to identify the underlying cause of the crisis experienced by your child with autism spectrum disorders. By maintaining a clear and calm mindset, you can quickly address the situation and effectively soothe your child. Understanding the triggers of the crisis allows for the implementation of appropriate de-escalation and support strategies. It is essential to adopt a proactive approach to managing difficult behaviors in order to promote your child's well-being and foster a sense of security and stability within the family dynamic.

He is in opposition

It is important to recognize that opposition is a natural element of every child's development, including those with autism. In such situations, it is essential not to get drawn into power struggles. Instead, take the time to observe and understand the autistic child to determine the best course of action. How does their opposition manifest? While avoiding conflicts, it is important to appreciate your child's unique qualities. Keep in mind that autistic individuals may need more time and maturity to grasp certain concepts. Despite potential difficulties, parents should praise their child when they follow instructions and adopt desired behaviors, even if it may seem like they are not listening.

It can sometimes be difficult to accept. Maintaining open communication and patience are key elements in building a strong and trusting relationship with your child. By constantly striving to understand and support your child, you can foster a positive environment for their growth and development.

Talking with the child

It is essential to recognize that opposition is a normal aspect of every child's development, including those with autism. In this case, it is essential not to engage in power struggles. Instead, take the time to observe and understand the autistic child to discern the best approach. How does their opposition express itself? While avoiding conflicts, it is important to recognize and appreciate your child's unique qualities.

Keep in mind that autistic individuals may need more time and maturity to understand certain concepts. Despite potential difficulties, parents should praise their child when they demonstrate obedience and adopt desired behaviors, even if they seem to ignore instructions. It can sometimes be difficult to accept.

Maintaining open communication and exercising patience are essential elements in establishing a true trusting relationship with your child; here is a link to learn more about communication methods to use with an autistic child. By making constant efforts to understand and support your child, you can create a positive environment conducive to their growth and development.

3. What can we do physically to soothe an autistic child?

Hugs, a massage, a playful activity… There are so many things parents can do to relieve an autistic child in crisis.

Give him a massage to calm him down

A massage, when done correctly, yields impressive results. It helps to relieve muscle tension caused by excess stress. Acting in the best possible way ensures fruitful results. It also serves as a communication tool with your child with autism. Here is an example of how to perform this massage:

• – In a quiet room, start by gently massaging his shoulders;
• It is also recommended to massage the temples and forehead to promote relaxation;
• Light pressure can also be applied to the child's feet;
• Ensure that the toddler is in a position conducive to relaxation, whether lying down or sitting;
• Avoid sudden movements and violent strikes; the massage should be painless.

When practiced effectively, massage can yield impressive results, particularly in alleviating muscle tension induced by excessive stress. It constitutes a valuable communication tool with autistic children, fostering connection and relaxation. To begin, create a serene environment in a quiet room and start the massage gently, beginning with the shoulders. Massaging the temples and forehead promotes relaxation. Applying light pressure to the feet can also be beneficial. Ensure that the child is in a comfortable position, lying down or sitting, conducive to relaxation. The massage should be gentle and painless, aiming to promote a sense of calm and well-being in the child.

Fun activities to help him cope with crises

Specialists recognize the importance of offering a varied range of activities or games to help autistic children effectively manage their emotions. Among these activities, music therapy stands out as a valuable tool. Music is a means through which children can explore and discover emotions, providing a form of expression that transcends language barriers. By engaging in music, autistic children can learn to identify and understand emotions in a way that may prove difficult through verbal communication alone.

In addition to music therapy, experts have developed numerous specific games tailored to the particular needs of autistic children. These games are designed to offer structured opportunities for exploring and expressing emotions, fostering emotional intelligence and regulation skills. Furthermore, specialists often recommend incorporating small yoga exercises into the child's routine. Yoga offers a holistic approach to managing emotions, promoting relaxation, mindfulness, and body awareness.

Another promising technique endorsed by experts is cardiac coherence, which has shown promising results in promoting emotional well-being in individuals with autism. This technique involves rhythmic breathing exercises aimed at synchronizing heart rate variability, which helps increase calmness and emotional stability.

Moreover, in the digital age, there are various activities and applications, such as those from the app COCO, specially designed to help children with autism spectrum disorders manage their emotions. These resources offer interactive and engaging experiences designed to promote emotional regulation and development in a way that is accessible and enjoyable for autistic children. By integrating these activities and applications into the child's routine, parents and caregivers can provide valuable support to their child by helping them effectively manage the complexity of emotions.

Discover the COCO THINKS and COCO MOVES app

4. Reflexes to avoid

Adopting good behaviors is essential in managing crises for the child affected by autism. What actions should be avoided?

Don't scold him

It is essential for parents to directly address bad behaviors or inappropriate attitudes when dealing with a child on the autism spectrum. Instead of paying attention to negative behaviors, focus on reinforcing positive behaviors by praising and encouraging them. Avoid yelling or repeatedly scolding, as this may exacerbate the situation and increase the child's distress. Consistency and clarity are essential when it comes to setting limits and expectations. Rather than emphasizing what not to do, redirect your energy towards reinforcing desirable behaviors and providing clear guidance. This positive approach creates a supportive and constructive environment for the child's development and well-being.

It is important to recognize that reprimands or severe punishments are ineffective in bringing about significant change in an autistic child. Punitive measures often do not address the underlying causes of behavioral problems and may even exacerbate aggressive tendencies. Instead of solely resorting to punishment, one should strive to understand what triggers the child's behaviors and implement proactive strategies to meet their needs. While discipline has its place in child-rearing, it should be applied judiciously and in a context that fosters learning and growth. By adopting a more empathetic and solution-oriented mindset, parents can better support their child's development and promote positive behavioral outcomes.

Behaviors to avoid with an autistic child

When a child with autism spectrum disorders misbehaves or exhibits inappropriate attitudes, it is essential for parents to address it quickly and appropriately. Rather than paying attention to negative behaviors, it is advisable to focus on reinforcing positive behaviors. Constantly reprimanding the child or yelling at them will only exacerbate the situation and may worsen their distress. It is essential to remain consistent and firm in your approach, setting clear limits and expectations regarding behavior.

Encouraging positive reinforcement and praise for desirable actions, emphasizing a constructive and supportive approach to discipline; avoiding unnecessary confrontations and redirecting attention towards positive interactions can help foster a harmonious environment and promote the child's emotional well-being and development.

5. Create a calming sensory environment

Autistic children are often very sensitive to their sensory environment: bright lights, sudden noises, uncomfortable textures… These elements can quickly overwhelm them and trigger a crisis. Adapting the physical environment can therefore play a fundamental role in preventing and managing crises.

Why is the sensory environment important?

• It can be the source of emotional overload.

• It directly influences the child's well-being and ability to self-regulate.

• A predictable and calm environment reassures and structures.

Creating a calming sensory space: concrete examples

• Soft lighting: replace harsh fluorescent lights with soft lamps or LED string lights. Use blackout curtains if needed.

• Noise reduction: use noise-canceling headphones or soundproof curtains in areas where the child spends time.

• Sensory comfort objects:

  • Weighted cushion to soothe through pressure.

  • Sensory mats or textured balls to manipulate.

  • Gentle essential oils like lavender, if well tolerated, can help calm (by diffusing or on a fabric).

• Safe space: set up a small tent or a quiet corner with cushions, books, and sensory toys. This space becomes a “refuge zone” accessible whenever the child feels the need to isolate.

• Calming playlist: create a list of soft music that the child enjoys. Repetition reassures, and music can serve as an emotional anchor.

Practical tips

• Involve the child in arranging their space: the feeling of control can reduce anxiety.

• Observe signs of sensory overload (hands on ears, sudden agitation, withdrawal…) to intervene in time.

• Test different textures, sounds, or lights to identify what specifically calms or disturbs your child.