🌈 DYNSEO TRAINING — CHILD ANXIETY
Supporting an anxious child
Supporting an anxious child
Rituals, breathing & grounding — DYNSEO
Complete training resource: understanding anxiety, establishing security rituals, practising breathing and managing anxious thoughts.
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🎯 Training objectives
- Identify the different forms of anxiety in children
- Understand the physiological mechanisms of anxiety
- Establish practical daily rituals
- Prevent crises and strengthen the sense of security
🧠 Module 1 — Understanding anxiety
Difference between stress, anxiety and panic
| Type | Description | Duration |
|---|---|---|
| Stress | Normal, situational reaction to a specific event | Disappears after the event |
| Anxiety | Diffuse, persistent worry, often without a direct trigger | Days to months |
| Panic | Maximum intensity with strong physical symptoms (panic attack) | Minutes to hours |
Symptoms to look out for
🔍 Physical symptoms
Frequent stomach aches (especially in the morning) • Headaches • Nausea • Muscle tension • Nervous tics⚠️ Avoidance behaviours
Refusing certain activities • Repeated excuses • Constant reassurance-seeking • Need to control everythingThe brain in "alarm mode"
In an anxious child, the amygdala (fear centre) is hypersensitive and triggers the alarm even without real danger. The prefrontal cortex (thinking brain) goes on standby — which is why reasoning with a child during a crisis is ineffective.
5 typical anxiety-triggering situations
| Situation | Manifestations | Child's thoughts |
|---|---|---|
| School / Performance | Stomach aches in the morning, fear of tests | "What if I fail? What if I'm last?" |
| Separation | Crying at drop-off, frequent calls | "What if something happens to mum/dad?" |
| Homework | Procrastination, perfectionism | "What if it's wrong? What if it's not good enough?" |
| New situations | Refusing to try, rigidity | "What if I can't do it?" |
| Performance | Avoidance, giving up | "What if I make a mistake in front of everyone?" |
🔄 Module 2 — Establishing security rituals
The 3 anxiety-friendly anchors
| Anchor | Concrete actions |
|---|---|
| Predictability | Displayed timetable • Announce changes in advance • Regular, stable rituals |
| Visibility | Visual schedule with pictograms • Visible timer for transitions • Events calendar |
| Simplicity | Short instructions (one at a time) • Limited choices (max 2 options) • Tidy environment |
Morning ritual (10–15 minutes)
✅ Morning checklist 0/5
- ✓Gentle wake-up (calming music, gradual light)
- ✓3 stretches in bed
- ✓Positive phrase in the mirror: "Today I will do my best"
- ✓Predictable breakfast (same time each day)
- ✓Visual checklist to tick
Evening ritual: The "sleep shield" (45 minutes)
| Step | Duration | Actions |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Tidying up | 5 min | Put toys away, prepare for tomorrow |
| 2. Hygiene | 10 min | Bath/shower, teeth brushing, pyjamas |
| 3. Screen-free | 20 min | Reading, drawing, calm play, conversation |
| 4. Breathing | 5 min | Breathing exercise |
| 5. Falling asleep | 5 min | Story, cuddle, reassuring phrase |
⚠️ Golden rule: No screens 1 hour before bedtime!
Managing transitions: The 3-announcements rule
📢 The 3 announcements
- 15 minutes before: "In 15 minutes, we're leaving the park"
- 5 minutes before: "5 minutes left, choose your last game"
- When it's time: "Time to go, let's tidy up and head off"
The "Before — During — After" tool
| Phase | Actions |
|---|---|
| BEFORE | Explain what will happen • Anticipate worries • Prepare together |
| DURING | Give time cues • Encourage effort • Offer breaks if possible |
| AFTER | Debrief positively • Acknowledge effort • Add to the success journal |
The calm kit
🎒 Suggested contents (personalise as needed) 0/7
- ✓A soft object (cuddly toy, cloth, stress ball)
- ✓A family photo
- ✓A comforting drawing
- ✓A card with a positive phrase
- ✓A sensory object (feather, stone, textured fabric)
- ✓A small bottle of water
- ✓A book or colouring notebook
The calm space at home
🏡 Creating a refuge corner
Comfortable cushions and a soft blanket • Dimmed lighting (fairy lights, small lamp) • Soothing books • Sensory toys (kinetic sand, modelling clay) • Relaxing sounds (music box, nature sounds)Important: This is a space for calming down, NOT a punishment!
🫁 Module 3 — Breathing, grounding & calming down
Why breathing works
Slow, deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the body. It sends the brain the message: "Everything is fine, I am safe."
🎈 Exercise 1 — The balloon in the tummy
Position: Sitting or lying down, one hand on the tummy
- Breathe in through the nose, inflating the tummy like a balloon (count to 3)
- Hold for 1 second
- Breathe out through the mouth, slowly deflating the balloon (count to 5)
- Repeat 5 times
💡 Tip: Place a small object (cuddly toy) on the tummy to visualise the movement.
⏱️ Exercise 2 — 4-7-8 breathing (from age 7)
- Breathe in through the nose counting to 4
- Hold your breath counting to 7
- Breathe out through the mouth counting to 8 (gentle exhale)
- Repeat 3–4 cycles
🎯 Exercise 3 — 5-4-3-2-1 grounding
- • 5 things you can SEE
- • 4 things you can TOUCH
- • 3 things you can HEAR
- • 2 things you can SMELL
- • 1 thing you can TASTE
⏱️ Duration: 2–3 minutes — Immediate effect!
The inner weather
| Weather | Emotion | Action to take |
|---|---|---|
| ☀️ Sunny | Happy, calm, confident | Enjoy, play, learn |
| 🌤️ Partly cloudy | A little worried, tired | Breathing, quiet break |
| 🌧️ Rainy | Sad, anxious, upset | Talk, cuddle, comforting activity |
| ⛈️ Stormy | Very anxious, angry, panicked | Calm space, breathing, adult presence |
🪑 Exercise 4 — The solid chair (physical grounding)
- Sit up straight on a chair
- Place both feet flat on the floor
- Press firmly with your feet (as if pushing into the ground)
- Feel your bottom firmly on the chair
- Imagine you are as solid as a tree with deep roots
💡 Practical tip
Create a chart with these 4 weathers. Each day, the child points to or moves a clothes peg to their current weather.
📱 Using the COCO PENSE & COCO BOUGE app
Compulsory active break: Every 15 min, a movement to release tensionVisual and attention games: Diverts attention from anxiety
Calm ritual: Guided breathing, soothing sounds
Reassuring structure: Predictable, safe framework
💡 Advice: 10–15 minutes after school as a transition and decompression moment
💭 Module 4 — Managing anxious thoughts
How to respond to "What if…?" thoughts
| ❌ TO AVOID | ✅ TO DO |
|---|---|
| "Stop worrying!" • "There's no reason to be scared" • Excessive reassurance | Validate the emotion: "I can see you're worried" • Ask: "What might help you?" • Limit reassurance: answer once then redirect |
🔍 The little detective method — 4 questions
| Question | Example |
|---|---|
| 1. Is it true? | "Everyone will laugh at me" → True or exaggerated? |
| 2. What is the proof? | "Has this happened before? How many times?" |
| 3. Another explanation? | "Maybe they didn't notice me" |
| 4. How likely is it? | "On a scale of 1 to 10?" |
Transforming anxious thoughts
| Anxious thought | Realistic transformation |
|---|---|
| "I'm going to fail" | "I'll do my best" |
| "Everyone is looking at me" | "Most people are thinking about themselves" |
| "It's too hard" | "It's hard, but I can ask for help" |
| "I'm not capable" | "I don't know yet, but I can learn" |
| "It's going to be awful" | "I don't know yet how it's going to go" |
| "Nobody likes me" | "Some people appreciate me" |
Method: Child expresses the thought → "How could you say that differently?" → Find a gentler version together → Repeat aloud 3 times
📔 The successes & courage journal (every evening)
1. A success: "I managed to…" (even a small one)2. A moment of courage: "I was scared but I still…"
3. Something positive: "Something that was good for me…"
💡 For younger children: Drawings instead of words | 📅 Review: Once a week to see progress
⚠️ Warning signs — When to consult a professional
Anxiety for more than 6 months without improvement • Strong impact on daily life • Significant avoidance behaviours • Regression • Frequent panic attacks • Very negative thoughts about themselves • Severe sleep or eating difficulties • You feel overwhelmed and exhaustedProfessionals to turn to
| Professional | For what? |
|---|---|
| GP / Paediatrician | First point of contact, assessment, referral |
| Child psychologist | CBT therapy, ongoing support |
| Child and adolescent psychiatrist | Precise diagnosis, severe disorders, medication if necessary |
| Psychomotor therapist | Body work, relaxation, emotional regulation |
| Children’s sophrologist | Relaxation and stress management techniques |
💪 Action plan — Next 7 days
📅 Days 1–2
- Put the evening ritual in place
- Create the calm kit together
📅 Days 3–4
- Display the weekly visual schedule
- Practise the balloon breathing exercise once a day
📅 Days 5–6
- Start the success journal
- Identify the calm space at home
📅 Day 7
- Review: what worked?
- Adjust the tools according to needs
🎓 Key points to remember
- Anxiety is not a tantrum: it is a genuine difficulty for the brain in managing alarms
- Rituals provide the safety an anxious brain needs
- Breathing is the most powerful tool: it calms the nervous system immediately
- Celebrate effort, not just results: every small step counts
- You are not alone: seeking help is a strength
📋 Global summary table
| Module | Key tools | Put in place now |
|---|---|---|
| Module 1 Understanding | Symptom identification • Brain understanding • 5 typical situations | Observe situations that trigger anxiety |
| Module 2 Rituals | Morning/evening rituals • Visual schedule • Calm kit • Calm space | Create bedtime ritual • Display weekly schedule |
| Module 3 Breathing | Abdominal breathing • 4-7-8 • 5-4-3-2-1 grounding • Inner weather • COCO app | Practise 1 breathing exercise per day |
| Module 4 Thoughts | Detective method • Thought transformation • Success journal | Start the success journal tonight |
📚 Additional resources
COCO PENSE & COCO BOUGE app for active breaks and calming games • Children’s books on anxiety (age-appropriate) • Support groups for parents of anxious children • Websites specialising in childhood anxiety • Parent listening line: 116 123 (Samaritans)📝 Session notes / Observations
💙 Final message
You now have all the tools to support your anxious child with kindness and effectiveness.
Remember: you are the best expert on your child!
Every small step counts. Be patient, be kind to yourself,
and celebrate every bit of progress, however small.
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🌈 Training Report
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Total items ticked
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/ 12 items
💪 Priorities — 7-day action plan
✅ Days 1–2: Evening ritual + calm kit
✅ Days 3–4: Visual schedule + daily breathing
✅ Days 5–6: Success journal + calm space
✅ Day 7: Review and adjustments