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Mental health at work: 10 difficult everyday situations and how to respond
Difficulties related to mental health at work rarely manifest during a scheduled interview. They arise in ordinary moments: a colleague who no longer says hello, a phrase dropped at the coffee machine, tears held back at the end of a meeting, a “how are you” said without conviction. In the face of these signals, the real question is not theoretical: mental health at work, what to do, here and now, when the scene is playing out in front of you?
Dans cet article
La formation associée
Les ressources citées
Tableau 3 colonnes
Timer VisuelHere are ten of these moments, described as they actually occur in a company, a school, an establishment, or a service. For each one: what is really happening behind the behavior, the spontaneous reaction that worsens the situation, and the step-by-step conduct to follow — with the exact words to say, the posture to adopt, and how to avoid the scene from repeating. The goal is not to turn you into a therapist: it is to know how to welcome, secure, and guide, without ever exceeding your role.
A word of warning, first. No behavior described here reads on its own as a certain sign of a disorder: it is the repetition, the change from the person's usual behavior, and the accumulation of several signals that should draw attention. Similarly, the same gesture — offering a coffee, asking a question — does not produce the same effect depending on the moment, the place, and the already established relationship. What follows provides guidelines, not recipes: it is up to you to adapt them to the real person standing in front of you, and to always refer to a health professional for anything related to diagnosis and care.
The essentials in 30 seconds
Most difficult mental health situations at work do not require a diagnosis: they require a just listening, a soothing word, and a guidance towards the right resource.
- Your role is to welcome and guide, never to diagnose or treat.
- The first helpful reflex is to listen without advising or minimizing: “I’m listening to you,” then silence.
- Name an observed fact, never a label: “I’ve noticed you’ve been more withdrawn lately, I wanted to check in on you.” The fact opens; the label closes.
- Resources exist: occupational medicine, occupational health service, listening line, HR, management.
- In the face of suicidal remarks or acute distress, one should never be alone: immediately seek a professional and the emergency services in your country.
1. A colleague isolates themselves and disconnects
Open space, a Tuesday. He used to arrive first and always cracked a joke; for the past two weeks, he has kept his headphones on all day, has lunch alone at his desk, and no longer responds to team messages. No one dares to ask him what’s going on.
What is happening: sudden social withdrawal is one of the most reliable signals of a growing discomfort — exhaustion, anxiety, depressive episode, or personal difficulties spilling over into work. The person is not “sulking”: they are conserving energy that they lack, or they are ashamed of what they are going through. Interpreted as a whim or disengagement, this withdrawal reinforces isolation and delays the moment when the person can ask for help.
- Choose a discreet moment, away from the group and without witnesses: a coffee for two, a quiet hallway. This topic is never approached in front of colleagues.
- Name a fact, not a judgment: “I’ve noticed you’ve been more withdrawn lately, I wanted to check in on you.” The fact opens; the label closes.
- Keep the door open without forcing: “If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here.” Some people need several invitations before they grasp the first one.
- Recall existing resources without dramatizing: occupational medicine, occupational health service, listening cell if the organization has one.
❌ To avoid: “So, are you sulking?” or “Shake it off, it’ll pass.” Minimizing in front of others transforms a discreet discomfort into humiliation, and the person will close off even more.
To prevent it from happening again: establish regular short and informal check-ins within the team, where checking in is not reserved for crisis moments. When discussing one’s state becomes commonplace, weak signals are raised earlier.
2. Someone breaks down in tears at the office
End of the meeting. You ask a colleague where a file stands, and without warning, her voice breaks and she bursts into tears in front of everyone. An awkward silence settles. Some look away, another attempts a joke to lighten the mood.
What is happening: the tears are not necessarily related to what you just said. They most often signify an accumulated overflow — overload, exhaustion, grief, anxiety — that spills over due to a minor trigger. The person is not trying to put on a show: they are overwhelmed by their own reaction and, very often, they feel shame about it. What happens in the seconds that follow determines whether they will feel supported or exposed.
- Preserve dignity first: calmly suggest stepping out for a moment. “Let’s get some fresh air for two minutes,” without commenting on the tears in front of the group.
- Welcome the emotion without questioning: “Take your time, there’s no problem.” Do not ask “Why are you crying?” in the heat of the moment.
- Stay present and calm: a calm posture, a glass of water, silence. Your calm is contagious and helps reduce tension.
- Offer a follow-up, not a solution: “Do you want to talk about it later, or should I connect you with the occupational health service?”
❌ To avoid: joking to “lighten” the mood, which isolates the person, and the opposite — collective dramatization. Also avoid acting as if nothing happened and resuming the meeting: this signals to the person that their state is unimportant.
To prevent it from happening again: review the person’s workload and deadlines one-on-one a few days later. A public emotional overflow is almost always the culmination of long-standing tension that has not been heard.
3. “I can't do it anymore”: the burnout that sets in
He slips to you between two doors: “Honestly, I can't do it anymore.” He works late, responds to emails on the weekend, forgets things he used to manage, and seems perpetually exhausted. Yet he follows up by saying, “It’s going to be fine.”
What is happening: this phrase is a warning signal that should never be ignored. Burnout sets in gradually, through a mix of fatigue that no longer repairs itself, disengagement, and a feeling of inefficacy. According to the INRS and the World Health Organization, burnout is not a condition diagnosed in meetings: it is a work-related syndrome that falls under health professionals. Your role is to hear the signal and act on what is within your control.
- Take the phrase seriously, immediately: “What you’re telling me is important, let’s take the time to talk about it.” Do not defer to “later.”
- Explore the concrete workload: what tasks, what deadlines, what possible support? Act on the organization, not on the person.
- Guide towards care: suggest a visit to occupational medicine, which can be consulted at any time and confidentially.
- Lighten what can be lightened immediately: postpone a non-critical deadline, redistribute a task. A concrete gesture is worth more than ten encouragements.
❌ To avoid: “We’re all overwhelmed” or “Make lists, organize yourself better.” Shifting the overload to a lack of individual organization makes the person feel guilty and obscures the real cause.
To prevent it from happening again: examine the distribution of workload and respect for the right to disconnect as a team. One person’s exhaustion often reveals a collective functioning that pushes everyone to do too much.
4. Short absences are multiplying
In the last two months, a colleague has taken several absences of one or two days, often at the beginning of the week. Nothing serious each time, but the repetition is concerning. Remarks start to circulate around her: “Absent again.”
What is happening: repeated short-term absenteeism is often an indicator of suffering at work before it becomes a motivation problem. The person holds on as long as they can, then needs to “take a breather” to recover; sometimes, the anxiety of coming in becomes the problem itself. Viewed solely as a lack of seriousness, this signal transforms into a spiral: increased pressure, guilt, longer absences.
- Receive the person without a controlling posture: the return interview is not a disciplinary summons. “I wanted us to check in, how are you feeling right now?”
- Look for conditions, not excuses: is there a task, a schedule, a relationship that weighs on them? Act on what is modifiable.
- Recall the confidentiality of resources: occupational medicine can see the person without you being informed of the reason.
- Cut short team comments: protecting the person from judgments is part of the support role.
❌ To avoid: letting remarks slide, or starting off on the ground of sanctions. Stigmatization almost always worsens the situation it claims to correct.
To prevent it from happening again: establish a systematic and supportive return interview after each absence, for the entire team. When systematized, this meeting stops being perceived as a suspicion and becomes a space where one can talk.
5. A colleague becomes irritable or explodes
Usually calm, he raises his voice over a trivial remark, slams a door, sends a harsh email to the whole team. The next day, he apologizes, embarrassed. The atmosphere becomes tense: some start to avoid him.
What is happening: sudden and disproportionate irritability is often the visible face of distress — chronic stress, exhaustion, anxiety — much more than a character trait. When psychological resources are saturated, tolerance for frustration collapses. Responding to annoyance with annoyance escalates the conflict and traps the person in a “difficult” role that further isolates them from the group.
- Do not respond in the heat of the moment: lower your tone, slow down, defer if necessary. “I see that it’s tense, let’s talk about it calmly later.”
- Address the behavior, protect the person: one can reframe an unacceptable statement for the team without humiliating the person who made it.
- In a one-on-one, describe without accusing: “In recent days, you seem on edge, is there something weighing on you?”
- Guide if the discomfort is confirmed: occupational medicine, listening line, management. Do not make the diagnosis for them.
❌ To avoid: public reframing in the heat of the moment, which humiliates and entrenches the conflict, and the label “difficult” that follows the person and wrongly guides all subsequent exchanges.
To prevent it from happening again: set clear communication rules within the team and check the person’s workload. Persistent irritability calls for support, not just a reminder of rules.
These situations, lesson by lesson
The training « Mental health at work — freeing speech and knowing how to guide » covers each of these reflexes : spotting weak signals, opening dialogue with the right words, setting boundaries, and guiding to the right resources. 16 lessons, 100 % online, at your own pace, unlimited access. Certified Qualiopi organization (N° 11757351875), certificate of completion.
Discover the training — 150 €6. Someone shares dark thoughts
At the end of the day, a colleague lowers their voice : « sometimes I think everyone would be better off without me ». They say it almost apologetically, then continue as if nothing happened. You are alone with them, and a wave of panic grips you.
What is at stake : a person who expresses this type of statement is granting you rare trust and making a call for help. This should never be trivialized, and never handled alone. Contrary to a persistent idea, talking about it openly does not "give the idea" : naming the suffering relieves and allows for guidance. Your role is not to assess suicidal risk — that is for professionals — but to remain present and make the connection without delay.
- Stay, listen, do not judge : « I am here, I am listening, thank you for telling me ». The simple act of not fleeing is very significant.
- Dare to name it : « are you thinking about harming yourself ? » Asking the question clearly does not rush anything : it shows that the subject can be spoken about.
- Do not remain the sole holder : suggest contacting a professional together, occupational health, or a national suicide prevention hotline.
- Do not abandon the person until a resource is in place, and ensure follow-up in the days that follow.
In the face of imminent risk — talk of acting out, a specific plan, danger in the moment — one should never stay alone and should not promise secrecy. Immediately seek a health professional and, in case of life-threatening emergency, the emergency services in your country. In France, 3114 (national suicide prevention number) is available free of charge, day and night, for those concerned as well as their relatives.
❌ To avoid : minimizing (“ but no, you have everything to be happy ”), moralizing, or promising absolute secrecy. Confidentiality is secondary to the person's safety.
To prevent this from happening again : after going through such a moment, do not forget to take care of yourself. Listening to intense distress is exhausting : debriefing with a professional or a resource person from the organization is part of a healthy approach, not an admission of weakness. Knowing in advance the numbers and contacts to direct to avoids searching in an emergency, at the moment when it is most needed.
7. The return after a long absence
After several months of absence, she returns on Monday. The team hesitates : should they talk about it or act as if nothing happened ? Some prepare a warm welcome, others fear to rush her. She herself is apprehensive about others' gazes.
What is at stake : the return after a long absence related to mental health is a pivotal moment, where the fear of judgment and doubt about one's own abilities are at their highest. A poorly prepared return — immediate overload, awkward silence, or on the contrary, excessive attention — can weaken the reintegration. The return visit to occupational health exists precisely to organize this moment : it can propose adjustments.
- Prepare the return in advance : plan, when possible, a pre-return visit and a lighter workload at first.
- Ask the person what they want : “ how do you prefer we manage your return to the team ? ” They decide what is said or not.
- Welcome simply : “ happy to see you again, we are here if you need ”, without interrogation or pity.
- Readjust gradually : short and regular check-ins are better than a large single meeting on the day.
❌ To avoid : the workload “ as before ” from day one, indiscreet questions about the reasons for the absence, and total silence that leaves the person alone with their apprehension.
To prevent this from happening again : formalize a shared return protocol, involving occupational health, management, and the person. A well-prepared return reduces the risk of relapse and new absence.
8. “I’m fine, I’m managing”: the person who minimizes
You can see she is not doing well : tired complexion, tension, unusual mistakes. But as soon as you bring up the subject, the response is clear : “ I’m fine, I’m managing, don’t worry ”. The door closes immediately.
What is at stake : minimizing is a common protective mechanism — fear of being judged incompetent, concern for one's job, difficulty in recognizing what is wrong oneself. The person is not acting in bad faith : they are not ready, or they do not feel safe to talk. Insisting directly puts them on the defensive; doing nothing leaves them alone. It is essential to hold both : respect their pace and remain a available presence.
- Do not force the confidence : “ I respect that, I won’t insist. Just know that my door is always open. ”
- Anchor on concrete facts, without diagnosis : “ I noticed you seemed very tired, that’s the only thing that worries me ”.
- Drop repeated hints, without pressure : trust is built over time, often through several exchanges.
- Make the resources visible to everyone : displaying the contact details of occupational health and helplines allows access without having to declare oneself.
❌ To avoid : saying “ I know you’re not doing well, stop lying ”, which breaks the relationship, and pure and simple abandonment on the grounds that “ she said she was fine ”.
To prevent this from happening again : work on the psychological safety climate of the team, where one can say they are not well without fearing for their position. It is this climate, more than individual insistence, that frees speech.
9. The whole team is under tension
It’s not one person, it’s the atmosphere : constant tension, biting remarks, meetings that turn into confrontations, several close absences. Everyone seems at their wit's end, and the team fragments into cliques.
What is at stake : when suffering becomes collective, it is no longer an individual problem but an issue of psychosocial risks (PSR). The INRS distinguishes several families of factors : intensity and workload, emotional demands, lack of autonomy, degraded social relations, value conflicts, insecurity of the situation. Looking for an individual “ troublemaker ” in this context misses the real cause and exacerbates divisions.
- Name the problem as collective : “ I notice that the atmosphere is very tense, and I think this is an issue that concerns us all ”.
- Create a structured space for dialogue : a dedicated time, with clear rules, distinct from production meetings.
- Engage dedicated resources : the CSE, occupational health, a professional risk prevention consultant can help objectify the situation.
- Act on the organization, not just on individuals : workload, priorities, clarity of roles. PSR should first be addressed at this level.
❌ To avoid : designating a scapegoat, letting things fester “ hoping it will settle down ”, or multiplying team-building seminars without addressing organizational causes.
To prevent this from happening again : integrate the evaluation of PSR into the single document and make it a point of ongoing follow-up. Collective prevention is the best defense against the accumulation of individual situations.
10. Addressing the subject without feeling legitimate
You see the signals, you want to help — but a little voice holds you back : “ I’m not a psychologist, I might say something stupid, it’s not my place ”. So you push the conversation back a little more, and the awkwardness grows on both sides.
What is at stake : the fear of doing it wrong is one of the biggest barriers to mental health support at work. However, no clinical expertise is expected of you : a human listening and guidance is what is needed. You do not have to find a solution or make a diagnosis. This clarity about your role is liberating : it allows you to act without overstepping your limits, and avoids the two pitfalls of silence and overcommitment.
- Distinguishe listening and healing : your mission is to welcome and guide. Healing is the responsibility of health professionals.
- Use simple and confident phrases : “ I’m not an expert, but I’m here to listen and help you find the right contact ”.
- Know your resources in advance : occupational health, HR, listening cells, national helplines. The better you know where to direct, the better you can guide.
- Set your own limits : listening does not mean carrying the burden alone. You can also seek support and debrief a heavy situation.
❌ To avoid : playing therapist and giving clinical advice, or conversely, avoiding the conversation for fear of doing it wrong. Awkward silence often causes more damage than imperfect but sincere words.
To prevent this from happening again : get trained. Knowing what to say, what not to say, and where to direct transforms apprehension into the ability to act, for you and for the entire team.
Mental health at work, what to do: summary table
To quickly regain the right reflex, here are the ten situations summarized : what it is most often about, the course of action to take, and the most common mistake not to make.
| Situation | ✅ The reflex to have | ❌ To avoid |
|---|---|---|
| Sudden withdrawal and isolation | Address in private, name a fact, leave the door open | Call out in front of others, minimize |
| Crying in the office | Preserve dignity, welcome emotion, propose a follow-up | Joke, dramatize or ignore |
| “I can't do it anymore” | Take seriously, lighten the load, refer to occupational medicine | Downplay, refer to a lack of organization |
| Repeated short breaks | Kind conversation, seek conditions, protect from judgments | Suspicion, immediate sanction |
| Irritability, outbursts | Do not respond in the heat of the moment, reframe the discussion without humiliating, guide | Public reframing, label “difficult personality” |
| Confided dark thoughts | Stay, listen, dare to name, make connections, do not leave alone | Minimize, moralize, promise secrecy |
| Return after a long break | Prepare, ask about wishes, simply welcome, readjust | Load “as before”, indiscreet questions, silence |
| “I'm fine, I can handle it” | Do not force, anchor on facts, drop hints, make transitions visible | Insist directly, abandon |
| Team under tension | Name the collective, structured speaking space, act on the organization | Designate a scapegoat, let it fester |
| Not feeling legitimate | Listen without treating, simple phrases, know your contacts, set your limits | Play therapist, avoid conversation |
In each scene, the same rule applies: name an observed fact, never a label; listen before advising; refer to a professional rather than carrying alone; and in the face of any acute distress, never remain alone. These four reflexes are enough to address the vast majority of difficult everyday situations.
To go further
ToolboxActivities, resources, and concrete arrangements to implement
Professional posturePosture, teamwork, and skills development
The trainingProgram, content, and who the “Mental health at work” training is for
These situations also benefit from relying on concrete resources. The 3-column table helps structure a conversation (what is going well / what is weighing / what we decide), and the visual timer makes exchange times more serene. The complete catalog of free tools and the cognitive tests DYNSEO complement this approach. For ongoing support of well-being and cognition over time, the CLINT app offers playful exercises designed for adults.
Frequently asked questions
What to do when a colleague is not well but says nothing ?
Approach the person privately, never in front of the group, and start from an observed fact rather than a judgment : « I’ve noticed you seem more tired lately, I wanted to check in on you ». Listen without advising or minimizing, then keep the door open : « if you want to talk, I’m here ». If the person minimizes, respect their pace while remaining available and making resources visible — occupational health, helpline. Do not insist directly : trust is built over time, often through several exchanges.
Do I have the right to address a colleague's mental health ?
Yes, as long as you stay in your role. You can talk about what you observe at work — fatigue, tension, changes in behavior — without ever making a diagnosis or probing into private life. You do not need to know the medical reason : occupational health is bound by confidentiality and can see the person without informing you. Your mission is to welcome, support, and guide towards the right resources, not to treat. This clear boundary protects you as much as it protects the person being supported.
How to react to suicidal remarks ?
Stay, listen, and do not judge : « thank you for telling me, I’m listening ». Contrary to popular belief, clearly asking the question — « are you thinking about hurting yourself ? » — does not rush anything : it relieves and allows for guidance. Never remain the sole holder of this information and do not promise secrecy. Suggest contacting a professional together. In the face of immediate danger, call your country’s emergency services ; in France, 3114, the national suicide prevention number, is available for free day and night.
How to welcome someone returning from a long absence ?
Prepare for the return in advance, ideally with a pre-return visit to occupational health, which can suggest adjustments and a lighter workload at first. Ask the person how they would like to manage their return to the team : they decide what is said or not. Welcome them simply — « happy to see you again » — without interrogation or pity, and gradually readjust the workload rather than resuming « as before ». Short and regular check-ins are better than a lengthy meeting on the day of return.
How to help without feeling legitimate or being a psychologist ?
By clarifying your role : listening and guiding is not treating. You are not expected to have clinical expertise, but to provide human presence and knowledge of the right resources. Simple phrases are enough : « I’m not an expert, but I’m here to listen and help you find the right person to talk to ». Also set your own limits : listening is not carrying alone, and you can seek support in turn. Training in these reflexes transforms apprehension into the ability to act, calmly and within the respect of your framework.
This article provides general professional guidelines to support mental health at work. It does not replace the advice of a healthcare professional, the protocols of your organization, or the support of occupational medicine. In case of doubt about a specific situation, or in the presence of signs of distress, refer to a qualified professional; in case of immediate danger, contact the emergency services in your country.
Move from apprehension to the ability to act
Knowing concretely what to do for mental health at work can be learned. The training “Mental Health at Work — Empowering Speech and Knowing How to Guide” gives you the right words, the right reflexes, and a clear map of resources, to welcome and guide without ever overstepping your role. 16 lessons, 100% online, unlimited access, at your own pace — 150 €. Certified organization Qualiopi (No. 11757351875), certificate of completion at the end of the training.
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