Targeted encouragements: saying more than "That's good"
The words we use to encourage a child shape their self-perception. Going beyond the simple "That's good" helps nurture solid and lasting motivation.
How many times a day do you say "That's good" to your child? This reflex comes from good intentions, but it remains vague: what exactly is "good"? Their writing? Their perseverance? The fact that they dared to try? More precise, targeted encouragements help the child understand what is valued, replicate the behavior, and develop a true sense of self-worth. This is particularly valuable for children who doubt themselves or face academic difficulties.
🚧 The limits of "That's good"
"That's good" reassures in the moment but provides no actionable information to the child. After a while, they may even stop hearing the message, as it becomes repetitive.
⚠️ Three possible side effects
- Vague message: the child does not know what they did well or how to do it again.
- Dependence on adult approval: the child waits for validation rather than learning to self-assess.
- Invisible pressure: some children wonder: "And what if it's not good?" without daring to ask the question.
🎯 What is targeted encouragement?
A targeted encouragement precisely describes what the child did or how they approached it. It emphasizes the process rather than the raw result. This nurtures what is called a growth mindset: the belief that one can improve through practice.
Specific
It points to a specific behavior: "You took the time to reread."
Effort-focused
It values strategy and perseverance, not just the correct answer.
Educational
It helps the child understand what works for them.
💬 Concrete examples of phrases to use
Here are some possible formulations to replace a too-general "That's good":
- "I noticed that you didn't give up even when it was difficult."
- "You took the time to highlight the important words in the instructions, that helped you."
- "You corrected your mistake by rereading, well done for that."
- "You paid attention to the capital letters and punctuation, it's much more readable."
- "You found another way to solve this problem, you are creative."
💡 DYNSEO Tip
You can create a small "phrase bank" to keep on the fridge or next to your homework corner. The idea is not to say everything at once, but to choose one thing to highlight in each session.
📉 Encouraging a child in academic difficulty
For a child who often receives negative remarks at school, targeted encouragements have a restorative role. They show them that there is more than "good" or "not good": progress, strategies, visible efforts.
"It's not perfect, but it's better than last week. You've gained confidence, and it shows."
Example of constructive feedback
Encouragements can also focus on how to manage their emotions: "You were very angry, but you accepted to take a break before returning to the exercise."
🎓 Training "Preventing School Dropout"
In this training, we address the subtle signs of demotivation and how to create a climate of encouragement, both at school and at home.
Discover the training →📱 Using COCO, JOE, and DYNSEO training as supports
DYNSEO programs offer an ideal playground to practice targeted encouragements: the games are short, repetitive, and the child can easily see their progress.
🎮 COCO THINKS and COCO MOVES
After a game, you can say: "You did better in this memory game because you focused longer. Did you notice that?". This way, the child connects performance, strategy, and effort.
Discover COCO →🧠 JOE, the brain coach
For older children, JOE allows measuring progress: number of correct answers, reaction time… So many opportunities to say: "You leveled up 2 levels in this game, it's the result of your regular training."
Discover JOE →🤍 Supporting anxious children
Targeted encouragements are even more powerful when combined with anxiety management tools. DYNSEO supports you with training dedicated to anxious children.
Discover the training for anxious children →🎯 Conclusion
Saying "That's good" is not a mistake, but it is often insufficient for the child to understand what they are doing well. By making your encouragements more precise and concrete, you help them build a kind and realistic inner dialogue: "I am not useless, I am progressing, I have strategies that work."
Day after day, these small targeted phrases contribute to preventing school dropout and building a lasting motivation, much stronger than the simple pursuit of a good grade.
